Peter came and said to him, ‘Lord, if another member of the
church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many
as seven times seven?
Jesus’ answer, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy
seven times.” Of course it’s a symbolic number, Jesus wasn’t
into number games; he expects us to forgive and makes it
clear that there should be no limits to our forgiveness just
as there are no limits to the number of times Jesus forgives
us. It is interesting to note though that in Jewish
tradition there was a limit placed on forgiveness, it stated
that forgiveness was restricted to three times but if there
was a 4th time needed then God punished. Peter’s question
and Jesus’ response just highlight the void between human
thinking and the way of God and in fact anyone who keeps the
score hasn’t forgiven at all. Christian forgiveness goes far
beyond counting.
While we all know that forgiveness is the Christian default
setting (it is a message constantly reiterated throughout
the Bible) and we can even reason that it is psychologically
healthier to do so we may still find it an almost impossible
thing to do. Forgiveness is not always easy and as C.S.
Lewis once put it, ‘Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely
idea that is until he has something to forgive!”
If hurts and resentments run deep then heartfelt forgiveness
becomes a real challenge; especially when so often the
people we find it hardest to forgive are the people closest
to us parents, siblings or close friends, after all
these are people that we thought really cared for us, so why
would they hurt us or us hurt them?
The answer to that is probably that we are very ordinary
human beings, wounded people with all the faults and
weaknesses of human characteristics and although we try to
be more Christ-like (or at least I hope we do!) we are still
a long way from being perfect as God is perfect. But by
forgiving others we come to share God’s transcendent freedom
through his grace, mercy and love and in turn it becomes an
act of liberation.
In fact only last week I read a comment on a social media
site which said, ‘Holding a grudge won’t make you strong; it
makes you bitter. Forgiving doesn’t make you weak; it sets
you free.’
The parable of the master and the servant gives us a vivid
picture of how, what we are being asked to do fits into the
wider context of divine mercy. As is typical, part of the
parable’s point is made through exaggeration.
The first servant who was a minor official to the king was
in real trouble; he had either mismanaged what the king had
entrusted to him or he had failed to fulfil a contract to
raise taxes and owed an unrealistic amount of money –
representing about 150,000 years of the amount a daily
labourer is paid. Clearly the debt was unrealistic and
impossible to pay and all this poor man could do was beg for
mercy and then to his great amazement, the king was
magnanimous and the servant’s debt was forgiven.
We are then left with a strange gap in the parable because
we don’t hear how the servant responded to the news, the
fact that he was spared prison, whether he was grateful, or
if he and his family celebrated or whether he reflected on
the meaning of freedom. We can only assume that the man had
not grasped the king’s mercy and so did not realise the true
meaning of forgiveness.
Perhaps he considered his forgiveness to be justice or a
power game and failed to see that he was a recipient of
mercy and love. So when the second servant did just as he
had done and asked for mercy, he was refused and sent to
prison. It was clear that the man forgiven couldn’t
recognise himself in the same situation as second servant
and so was unable to offer the mercy he had been shown.
So the story of the master who cancels the debt without any
fuss only to find that same servant did the opposite to
someone else must not be lost on us and the message is made
abundantly clear in the closing line of the Gospel.
‘That is how my heavenly Father will deal with you unless
you each forgive your brother from your heart.’ The story
tells of the danger of an unforgiving heart.
The pardoning presence of God in our own lives is dependent
on us showing a similar spirit of forgiveness to those who
have wronged us, forgiveness is a matter of the heart, a
symbolic place that opens up to God and allows a
transformation of the inner person, something the first
servant had not experienced. He wasn’t ready to forgive as
he had been forgiven.
His heart was not open as our hearts must be open, so that
we become able and willing to forgive others and then we in
turn will be open to receive God’s love and forgiveness in
abundance.
It’s a hard lesson which doesn’t necessarily mean
forgetting, the memory of pain and hurt may stay with us for
a long time, from our experiences of life we are painfully
aware that many relationships are scarred by old hurts and
good friendships broken but forgiving can help to change the
way we remember. It can stop the wrongs from eating into us
and poisoning our lives, whilst also helping us to reclaim
our human dignity and eventually inner peace.
Jesus always maintained his dignity, especially on the
cross, the time and the place we are reminded of his
boundless forgiveness. In spite of his own pain and
suffering he stepped beyond the violence and offered up his
heartfelt prayer for those who crucified him. ‘Father,
forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.’
Jesus forgave out of love, a love so great that it moved
beyond all the wrongs inflicted on him to extend his
affection for us all, sinful humanity, to his absolute and
unexpected forgiveness.
There have always been sinners and there always will be, we
only have to think back to the story of Adam and Eve, or
more recent acts of atrocities and violence to recognise
that we are part of a human chain of anger, resentment and
bitterness but today let’s let go of the past and move
forward towards new growth and understanding. Today let’s
see take a look at our relationships with others to see how
they can be improved or healed. Yes, we are all capable of
inflicting wounds and yes, we all need to forgive and yes,
we all need to be forgiven.
God’s forgiveness is unconditional, knows no bounds and
given as often as we need and ask for it. We are then
empowered to reach out to those who have hurt us, or to seek
forgiveness from those we have hurt.
This then becomes our way of sharing God’s love and mercy
and Peter’s question and Jesus’ answer say it all. Life is
too short to be wasted fuelling fires of resentment or
bitterness but only when we have grasped the immense mercy
of God in forgiving us our own sins can we truly offer
forgiveness to those who have offended us.
So, if you’re still counting how many times you’ve forgiven
someone, you’re not really forgiving them at all and Jesus’
message is clearly saying is don’t even think about the
counting, just do it!
God of forgiveness
Soften our hearts
Heal us of old hurts and wounds
Help us to forgive as you forgive
And bring us to know inner peace. Amen