'FunnyYou Should Say That!'
On these pages we publish jokes, cartoons and
oddities, with a Christian connection, as well as a few
that aren't religious, but which caught the website manager's
fancy. Apologies are unreservedly offered to any individual or
publication we have not been able to trace and acknowledge or
who would have preferred not to share the joke with a wider
public. Apologies likewise tendered to those who are not amused
by what they read or see, or who may find any item not entirely
politically correct. No apologies to those who feel that a
Church website is no place for such things - we are happy to
believe that God has a sense of humour, otherwise he would not
have created the human race, let alone the people of Saint
Faith's in general and the website manager in particular. It
goes without saying that any perceived bias or incorrect
thinking contained or implied by these various offerings in no
way reflects the views of our church or any of its members...
although many of them share this writer's unreconstructed sense
If you have a joke - or a source of humour - you
would like to share, then please get in touch. Visitors are
more than welcome to share, publish or plagiarise these
Apologies for any missing cartoons: blame managerial
incompetence and supply your own drawings...
Click Here to access the first hundred offerings, posted from 2005 onwards.
Click here to
access a collection of curious items (including many non-P.C.
offerings) from various sources
... and here
for a newer feature reproducing newspaper articles and
comments on more serious topics of interest to the Christian
405 December 26th, 2013
The Very Sod?
The Oldie again
404 December 25th, 2013
Keeping up with the Carpenters?
403 December 20th, 2013
402 December 16th, 2013
Church on the Rebound
The Oldie, December 2013
401 November 23rd, 2013
Searching for God
400 November 18th, 2013
'More Tea, Vicar?'
399 October 30th, 2013
Would you Adam and Eve it!
A Sunday School teacher was teaching how God created everything, including human beings. One little boy seemed especially intent when she explained how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she asked him what was the matter.
The little lad explained worriedly: 'I have a pain in my side.I think I'm going to have a wife.'
Thanks to St Peter's, Formby, Church magazine.
398 October 30th, 2013
Snipping the Squirrel
There were five houses of religion in a small American town: the Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church, the Roman Catholic Church nad the Jewish Synagogue. Each of their places of worship was overrun with pesky squirrels.
One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
In the Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistry. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistry and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.
The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.
The Catholic Church came up with the best and most effective Christian solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.
And what about the Jewish synagogue? Not much was heard about them, but rumour has it that they took one squirrel and had a short initiation service of circumcision and they haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.
Internet circulation via an anonymous friend!
397 October 23rd, 2013
The Oldie once more (who else?)
396 October 19th, 2013
The Oldie again
395 October 17th, 2013
'With this ringtone I thee wed...'
394 September 24th, 2013
'Think I'll go and Eat Worms...'
The vicar decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup. The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results: The first worm in alcohol . . . dead.
The second worm in cigarette smoke . . . dead. Third worm in chocolate syrup . . . dead. Fourth worm in good clean soil . . . alive.
So the vicar asked his congregation, "What did you learn from this demonstration?"
There was silence, until one farmer at the back hazarded: "As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms?"
393 September 19th, 2013
An Offer You Can't Refuse?